The way IM
by Psychen-tied
Summary: Okay, I wanted to try something different and I liked the idea of IM fanfic so here it is. It's not meant to be serious. As random as it gets: CHAPTER 2 IS UP: HAVE FUN! Oh and I edited it so go check it out!
1. Under the desk

**House/Wilson/Cuddy IM conversation**

**Hey people, thought I could try something fun. Hope you'll like it. It's just an experiment, it's short, it's nothing serious.**

_**Chapter 1: Under the desk**_

**_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_**

_**Cuddy is online**_

_**Wilson is online**_

Cuddy: hey Wilson, where's House?

Wilson: no idea, maybe in his office

_**House is online**_

Cuddy: **HOUSE!**

House: I'm not deaf. Or blind. Y R U yelling?

Cuddy: coz you have clinic duty

Wilson: hmm, gotta go

Cuddy: hey, you also have 2 hours to do, Wilson

House: come on Wilson, we'll watch the Monster Trucks reruns

Cuddy: what part of 'clinic duty' don't you understand? Is that clinic, or duty?

House: speaking of which, I need to "drop the duty" if U know what I mean...

_**Cuddy is rolling her eyes**_

Cuddy: how old are you?

_**Wilson is grinning**_

Wilson: well, I'll leave you two love birds, I need to attend to a patient and then I'll go to the clinic

_**Wilson is offline**_

Cuddy: … at least one of you is marginally reasonable

House: I know U're still there. I can hear your boyscout's heart pounding... Jimmy, U're no fun!

_**House is annoyed**_

Cuddy: Oh, by the way, House: I found your video games, if you don't go do your job, I'll give them to children in pediatrics. Your choice.

House: but mooooooooooooom!!! Okay, I'm going, I'm going, don't U dare give away my toys. U know I don't share.

_**House changed his nickname to Cuddy is the Devil**_

_**Cuddy is the Devil will be back in a minute**_

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

House burst into Cuddy's office and was about to bitch about clinic duty when he caught her guilty look. Then he heard a subtle electronic sound and when he got closer to her desk, his eyes widened: it was the sound of his video game she was holding in her delicate hands.

His shocked expression turned to a grin "you mischievous little she-devil, were you playing instead of working?!!!!"

Cuddy's flushed expression gave her away, she then smiled at him and got up from her chair "these games are evil. I just couldn't stop. Now please, forget about it and go to the clinic"

House grinned and went out without adding a word. She was surprised, she thought that if he caught her, she wouldn't hear the end of it, but suddenly, she heard House yell "HEY WILSON, GUESS WHAT I'VE JUST CAUGHT CUDDY DOING UNDER HER DESK IN THE PRIVACY OF HER OFFICE???!!!"

Cuddy slowly closed her eyes, defeated, not allowing herself to imagine what people could be thinking and sighed. "House leaving me alone without making a scene, am I that naive?..."

With that, she rolled her eyes and went back to her paperwork.


	2. God is offline

******Chase/Foreman/Cuddy and House IM conversation**

**Random, pointless and borderline stupid exhaustion-induced nonsense (you know when it's 3am and you're so tired that your brain just comes up with the most ridiculous thoughts ever...). ****I will probably delete it tomorrow, until then... enjoy! **

**By the way, now that I think of it, I hope neither the title nor the content will offend anyone. I don't mean anything by it, it's just some Housian harmless humor. My body is composed of 70% water but still: flames are painful. **

**_Chapter 2: God is offline_**

**_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_**

**Aussie is online**

**Cuddy is online**

**Cuddy:** hey Chase, what's up?

**Aussie:** Allison is working, night shift, I'm bored.

**4man is online**

**4man:** hey Chase, wanna go get plastered?

**Aussie:** Oh God yes!!!

**Cuddy:** I'm bored too

**Aussie:** hey, Foreman just asked me to go have a drink. Care to join us?

**Cuddy:** huh... okay, why not?

**Aussie:** 4man, I invited Cuddy to join us

**4man:** what? I can't get drunk with my boss.

**Aussie:** come on, she's fun. Trust me: when she's drunk there's no one I wanna hang out with more.

**4man:** thanks 4 that. When did you get drunk with... you know what? Whatever... Okay, meet U at the bar, go pick her up

**4man is offline**

**Aussie:** Cuddy, I'll pick U up in 15, okay?

**Cuddy:** fine, see you then. Casual?

**Aussie:** Yup. It's an Irish bar

**Cuddy:** green top and jeans then

**Aussie:** perfect. Don't wear anything that could create a riot. Cheap beer = drunk horny guys

**Cuddy:** charming. Can't wait...

**Aussie is grinning**

**Cuddy:** I.C.U later Chase **;)**

**House is online**

**Cuddy changed her nickname to Oh God**

**Oh God is offline**

**Aussie:** haha, God is offline? Nice

**House:** who's "oh god"?

**Aussie:** Cuddy

**House:** Are you going out with Cuddy?

**Aussie:** Yeah, we're going to church

**House:** Can I come with? Church is the 'House' of God, that can only be a sign

**Aussie:** That should be fun

**House:** R U being sarcastic? Can't detect the tone here but I'm not feeling the love. I'll bring Wilson, he'll pay for the rounds

**Aussie:** crikey!

**House:** were U going on a date with Cuddy?

**Aussie:** NO! Foreman is coming too

**House:** Is all the hospital coming?

**Aussie:** apparently... but initially no, just Foreman, Cuddy and me.

**House:** A threesome? Awesome! You know what's awesome-er? A fivesome.

**Aussie:** House, you gotta be joking. You're not really coming? It's a joke, right?

**House:** No, but here's a good one: a black guy, a wombat and God go to a bar...

**Aussie:** this evening is _not_ gonna end bad at all...

**Aussie is looking for earplugs and a flak jacket**

**House:** what did I say about IM and irony?

**Aussie:** gotta go pick up the boss

**House:** I'll pick her up

**Aussie changed his nickname to No way in Hell**

**House:** come on, it's on my way

**Aussie:** no it's not, U just wanna annoy her, and I'm not getting pissed with pissed off Cuddy. Go with Wilson to another bar

**House:** U're no fun

**Aussie:** gotta go, gonna be late.

**House:** Cuddy's not driving so she's gonna get plastered. I won't miss that for the world

**Aussie:** You're gonna cause trouble, are U?

**House:** Who knows? The Lord works in mysterious ways...

**Aussie:** God help us. C ya later, can't be late. I was taught one thing at the seminary: don't mess with TPTB

**Aussie has left the building**

**House is grinning**

**Aussie is offline**

**House:** which bar? Heyyy??!!! Goddammit!!!


End file.
